thoughts on identity--female to the bone

Prefacing all of this with the hope that I will be healed before my surgery date on July 29 and avoid going through surgery and chemo, I have been thinking a lot about the changes that will be taking place in my body.

I knew, even before I received the official diagnosis, that if the spots in my breast were cancer I would pursue a double mastectomy and chemotherapy. I know that was the Lord preparing my heart ahead of time because all of my doctors agree that is the best course of treatment in light of my diagnosis. In addition, we have learned that after I have chemo and and all the treatment is completed, I will also need to have my ovaries removed. That surgery, in combination with another medication, whose name escapes me at the moment, has the best chance of keeping the cancer from recurring.

As Ron and I were sitting in the chemo teaching clinic, we asked Kathleen why some women who are at risk of the cancer returning choose not to have a double mastectomy and have their ovaries removed. She said that for some women, their identity is closely tied to those parts of their bodies that make them distinctly female. Of course, that got me to thinking about what it really means to be female. Here are some thoughts, I may have more as time goes along.

My first and immediate thought was, "Every cell in my body is female, not just my breasts, ovaries and uterus." I have those body parts because I am female, they don't make me female. I love being a woman, I am grateful that God made me female because as one made in the image of God, I believe that women carry a unique expression of the image of God. He has made us little "c" creators, we have the unique capacity to bring forth life. Speaking in generalities, women often reflect the character of God as comforter, as one who comes alongside to help, many women have a gift of wisdom and the ability to care for others, to nurture and give of themselves selflessly for the good of others. These are just a few of the beautiful reflections given to those made in the image of God.

My very DNA is female. I often joke that it is the "Y" gene in men that often leaves women wondering "Y" (why) do they do that?" because we don't have that gene. =) Regardless of whether or not I have my breasts removed, my ovaries removed or even my uterus removed, I am still uniquely female because that is the image of God that has been instilled in me at a cellular level from the womb where God formed me. Therefore, every part of me is female, my fingers, my toes, even my knees are female. My female DNA is in every part of me...I am female to the bone!