Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Restoring and Redeeming!

If you've visited my blog before, you'll notice I changed the look. I believe that I am entering a new season where God is going to be restoring and redeeming the things that I had to lay down during my fight with cancer. Of course when I saw the background of a map of the nations, I knew that was the one for me! I am asking God to release me to return to the nations in this next year among many other things!

I believe this restoring and redeeming season began in August/September and is not just for me but for many in the Body of Christ. This is a transition time to set us up to move into both restoration/redemption as well as into new things. I have set aside a couple of days (Monday night thru Thursday) to seek the Lord because I don't want to carry any old mindsets into this new season. I am asking God to show me every place where old mindsets and thought patterns don't line up with His thoughts and perspective. I want to transition fully and be on the same page as Jesus. It is my strong desire to have the mind of Christ and an increased anointing of the Holy Spirit for His Kingdom and His glory. I am so thankful that the Lord promises to meet those who diligently seek Him. He loves to answer our prayers!

Fourth Surgery

I had my fourth surgery on August 16th. The goal was to remove the expander on my right side and replace is with a saline implant as well as make a number of repairs to both the right and left sides. I had 7 incisions of varying lengths in all. The surgery was supposed to take 2 1/2 hours, but ended up taking an additional hour because there was so much scar tissue, called capsular contraction. I had hoped this would be my last surgery, but it looks like I will need at least one more and perhaps a second down the road.

The good news is that I recovered more quickly from this surgery than from any surgery I have previously had, which was wonderful and very encouraging. I am up in Bodega Bay right now to spend a couple of days seeking the Lord. I was able to drive myself up here and even walk on the beach today just two weeks out from surgery. That is miraculous compared to my previous recovery times from major surgery.

I see the surgeon again in a few weeks. We need to wait until the swelling has gone down before we can make a good decision about what is next.

I REALLY don't want to have any more surgeries. I am praying for a miracle to restore my left reconstructed breast. Scar tissue is building up again there from the radiation damage and surgeries, it is significantly shrinking and contracting the muscle and skin around the implant again. The new right "breast" is great, but the left one is getting smaller and smaller and tighter and tighter. At least it is not as bad as it was last January before the surgery in February. I couldn't inflate my lungs completely because of the restricting scar tissue. I really need a miracle to restore the muscles and skin on the left side. I know that God is able.

Please join me in praying for restoration and healing! Thank you!!

Kayaking!

I was able to achieve one of my goals of recovery...to kayak again. Last February, I had a very large portion of my lattissmus dorsi muscle cut and brought around to try and reconstruct my left breast due to severe radiation damage. (It is the muscle that covers a large part of the back and is used to paddle a kayak among many more things than I ever realized until a chunk of it was gone!) It took many months to every so slowly regain strength and flexibility in my left arm, shoulder and back. I am happy to say that perseverance and hard work and lots of prayer culminated in my being able to kayak on Donner Lake up near Truckee on our family vacation. It was so much fun! My whole family went along with our good friends the Grunder family. It was simply wonderful!! Thanks Susan for being my kayak buddy!

Cancer Free from Head to Toe!

It has been several months since I have written. I don't know who is still following my blog but I hope to begin updating it regularly again. After the retreat, I began working full time again and it took a lot more out of me than I anticipated. I really needed to put all of my energy and effort into that and so things like my blog were put on hold.

I also needed a break from thinking about fighting cancer. I just wanted to live day to day without thinking too much about it. That is another reason I didn't blog for a time.

Since my last post, much has happened. I went through a time in May and June, like most people who have finished up treatment, where I was battling with fear. For example, when I would have a bad headache, in the back of my mind I would fear that the cancer had gone to my brain, or if I coughed more than usual, that it had gone to my lungs, etc. I have heard this is a common occurrence among cancer patients, I've read about it and knew it was silly, but as much as I would pray, I couldn't get it to go away completely. So one day, I prayed and told the Lord that I really needed Him to take care of this because try as I might, I could not.

Just a few weeks later, I found a lump near where my original cancer tumor was found. My heart dropped into my stomach. It turned out to be just a glob of fatty tissue that had died from radiation trauma and formed a lump. To find that out, however, I needed to go through a battery of tests. Finally, the tests all came back confirming that from head to toe, I am cancer free. I was VERY relieved and so grateful. Suddenly the Lord brought back to mind that I had prayed and asked Him to take care of my fear. I hadn't really thought He would do it in this way, but He did a very thorough job of answering my prayer. I now no longer have to fear or worry, I know objectively that the cancer is out of my body, head to toe. When I realized He had answered my prayer through all of that, I laughed out loud, thanked Him and have been at great peace ever since.