Counting My Blessings

As I have been thinking about the events of the past months I have been struck by how God has blessed me. He truly can work ALL things together for good...

*Though I was really sick for 9 months prior to my diagnosis with cancer, I can see that because I was running that fever and felt so sick, I was determined to find out the cause of my illness. I don't know if we would have found the cancer as soon as we did if I had not been on that journey, particularly because the breast cancer was so diffused that it never did show up on the mammogram, they found it using ultrasound. Leaving no stone unturned, we finally turned over the right one.

*After having the cancer removed from my breast and lymph node, the fever immediately began to leave my body. The first week I had fevers for several days, the second week only a couple of times and for the past TWO weeks, I have been completely fever free! I cannot begin to tell you how much better I feel, even recovering from major surgery feels so much better than feeling like I had a really bad case of the flu ALL the time. Thank you Lord!

*Even the delay in the healing of the surgery site on the left side has turned out to be a blessing. Had the healing process been on schedule, I would have started chemo either last week or this week. Well, this was also the week that Hannah started her first week of homeschool for her senior year of High School. Since the chemo was delayed, I have been able to get her started and put together the lesson plans and schedule for the year so that even when I am not feeling well during treatment, everything is in place to enable me to help her through this year to the best of my ability.

*In some ways, I have wished that we would have found the cancer sooner, but as I have thought about it, I realized the timing was amazing. In hindsight, I am grateful we did not find it until after Karyn finished her first year of college. By finding it in June, I was able to have surgery while Karyn was home and she and Hannah were on summer vacation (especially helpful since I am still homeschooling Hannah.) By having the surgery the end of July, I was able to have recovered enough so that I think it made it a little easier for Karyn to leave again for college. For my mother's heart, that meant a lot to me.

*I have the most amazingly loving and supportive husband that a girl could ever hope to have. Ron has been there for me every moment, he is truly a wonderful man.

*My girls have been right there for me throughout my illness, being very sensitive, supportive, understanding and loving.

*My entire family, siblings, Mom and Pop (Bob and Linda Mahley), even my cousins, aunts and uncles. nieces and nephews, have been amazing, praying, calling, sending cards and letters, checking in on me...very sweet and 100% supportive. You all are so very precious to me.

*My church family and friends have blessed me more than words can express, I am teary just writing this because I am overwhelmed by your love, support, servant's hearts, prayer, friendship, thoughtfulness, steadfastness, and the list goes on and on...

*These are just a few of the many things for which I am thankful and blessed. YOU are definitely on my list!!

Good report

Just got back from seeing the surgeon and the report is good. She said that she thinks the wound is healing, we are changing the wound care a little, but not drastically. The edges of the wound are pretty red, which I thought was bad, but she said actually indicates that it is beginning to heal. It means that little blood vessels are beginning to reach the edges of the wound and there has to be circulation flowing for healing to begin.

I am seeing over and over the physical and spiritual truth that where the blood flows, there is life! Our physical bodies give witness to the truth that we see in Jesus: His blood gives us life.

There is still a lot of healing that needs to take place, so please keep praying for healing...God is answering our prayer! Thank you!!

Seeing the surgeon today

I have an appointment with Dr. Kerlin today at 4:10PM. Please pray for wisdom for her as she decides what to do about the surgery site on the left side that is not healing. It is still looking pretty bad, though not infected...thank the Lord! I will let you know what she decides.

Thank you for praying for this appointment!

If you are praying Scriptures

Hi my friends,

If you are praying/declaring Scriptures for me, would you please leave them as a comment to this post or in the "Post-a-Prayer" section? I would like to read them and pray/declare them too. I am going to begin to print them out and place them around the house. Thanks for your help!!

Doing better

Thank you so much for praying. Though my surgery site looks about the same at this point, I am doing much better emotionally and am not feeling so tired. Thank you for lifting me with your prayers. You are awesome!

Thank you too for the wonderful meals that many of you are providing for our family. It is difficult to overstate what a help and blessing these meals are to our family. They take such a load off of Ron and are such an encouragement as well as nourishment to us.

We have received so many precious cards, notes, flowers and gifts to help encourage and help financially that we are filled to overflowing with gratefulness to you and to the Lord. Bless you!!

Surgeon Update

I was able to see both of my surgeons yesterday, both appointments went well. The plastic surgeon who is doing the breast reconstruction is going on vacation and will be back in two weeks. The timing works well because my healing is slow and he just wants me to rest and heal for now.

Dr. Kerlin, who did the cancer removal part of the surgery, wants me to wait at least two weeks before starting chemo. She will check me next week to see if the healing process is moving forward. If not she may change a couple of things that we are doing as far as treating the wound or worst case scenario take me back into surgery and try to clean out the area where the skin has died. I am, obviously, holding onto the Lord for His healing rather than go back into surgery! Would you continue to join me in that prayer for the surgery site on the left side to heal, thank you so much!!

I rested over the weekend and that helped some with the pain level. I think it is coming from the stretches that I have to do three times a day. I am happy to say that I am slowly regaining some of the range of movement in my left arm, my right arm is doing great.

Yesterday was a tired and weepy day for me. I think the pain and tiredness were getting to me and I was feeling a bit of discouragement from the slow healing on my left side. I am doing better today.

I can't thank you enough for your generosity in giving of yourself to pray for me. You are a gift.

Having a couple of tired and painful days

It seems that in the process of healing after surgery there seems to be good days and bad days. I have been doing really well, but yesterday and today (Sat/Sun) I have been particularly tired and my surgery sites have been more painful as well.

I will keep this short as I am trying to rest more today to see if that will help, but wanted to let you know and ask you to please pray for me that the pain would lift and I would have more energy.

I see both of my surgeons tomorrow (Monday). I'll update you after I see them. Thanks so much for praying.

Please Keep Praying for healing of the incision on the left side

As you know, the surgery on the left breast and under arm was pretty extensive what with removing the cancer and the breast tissue and the 18 lymph nodes! As a result of all that trauma to the area, the healing is "delayed" on that side.

I went to the doctor on Thursday and will go again on Monday to check the progress. Right now there is still some "necrotic" skin on the vertical part of the scar on the left side. Basically, it is black and not getting any blood supply still. Please continue to pray that the blood will begin to flow to that area. (It is the physical and spiritual principle that that there is life in the blood, where the blood flows, there is LIFE!) The good news is that the area is not infected. The surgeons said the necrotic skin will scab over and then heal, it will just take longer. As a result of the delayed healing, there is still quite a bit of pain on that side. The right side continues to do well, thank the Lord!!

Other than the delayed healing of that scar, I am continuing to get stronger almost every day. The doctor gave me some stretches so that I can begin to regain the full range of motion in both of my arms. I probably only have about 50% on the left side. I am diligently doing my stretches while saying, "Ow-ee, ow-ee, ow-ee!"

I should find out Monday how long the surgeon thinks the chemo treatments will have to be delayed due to the slowed healing. I am trusting that God knows the exact time table that will be best for me and so am not feeling anxious about the delay. I know some of you are praying for that, so I am reaping the fruit of your faithful prayers! Thank you!! with much love, Leslyn

Karyn and Ron are off to Biola

Wow, what a difference your prayer makes! We noticed a significant increase in grace in our home after you all started praying. Our time as a family last night was so sweet and there was great grace on all of us as Karyn and Ron headed off to Biola today. Thank you so much for your prayers, they are availing much!! "The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much." James 5:16 That would be you!! Thanks!!!

Karyn is heading back to Biola University on Friday

Hi my friends! I just wanted to ask if you would be praying for our oldest daughter, Karyn, as she heads back to Biola University for her sophmore year in film school and the Torrey honors program. Ron will drive her down to school; they leave tomorrow, Friday, August 15.

Karyn is helping to lead the freshman orientation for the incoming honor students and will also be starting her new job in the bookstore. Leaving her Mom sick at home is hard for her but she does so with our full blessing and support. Would you please pray for her as she makes this transition? Thank you!!

Hannah will stay home and help take care of me. Hannah needs prayer as her sister leaves, they are very close, and she is having a hard time thinking about going through all that this year holds with her big sister away. I know that God will be faithful and meet her. Would you please be praying for her as well?

Ron and I are so glad that Karyn loves her school, has wonderful friends and loves the programs she is in at Biola, but we will miss her terribly. She is a wonderful and precious daughter. Thank you for your prayers for us...we need them. Thank you so very much!!

Treatment update

Just got back from the oncology appointment, we got some good news but also a very sobering picture of the very long road ahead.

All I can say is THANK THE LORD for herceptin! The addition of the herceptin drug to my therapy improved the statistics on the chance of recurrence by 50%, pretty amazing. This brings the recurrance rate down from 68% to 34%. This is, of course, in the natural, we are believing and seeking God for complete healing from the Lord.

So, essentially I will have chemotherapy for 6 months (given every two weeks), probably starting the beginning of September (due to the delay in healing on the left side, they want to make sure my surgery sites are well healed before starting chemo). At about 3 months into chemo, they will add herceptin to deal with the HER/2 receptor positive issue (see previous posts for info), which will be infused every week for one year. Once chemo is finished they are going to do radiation on my chest wall, neck and possibly my left underarm (a Radiation specialist will be brought onto the team to direct that part of the therapy). About that same time, after chemo, they will start the tamoxifen to deal with the hormone postive issue. After I am recovered from chemo and radiation, I will have breast reconstruction surgery. Once I am recovered from that, I will have surgery to remove my ovaries and possibly my uterus as well.

I will hopefully be through with all of the medication by January 2010. The remainder of this year and the next will be dedicated to getting through treatment and getting completely well and healthy!!

I know that this is a long road ahead and I would ask you to join me throughout this journey to healing through your prayers and continued encouragment. Your partnership with me and my family helps to give us courage to press forward and face what lies before us. We need you and are so very grateful for you. with much love and a thankful heart, Leslyn

Specific Prayer Needed

Overall, I am making great progress day by day, I even was able to get my drains out this past Friday. It is difficult to express how much better I feel without those drains, I am sleeping better and feel more like "myself." I am still pretty tired though. I was able to take a shower for the first time today since surgery. I was so exhausted afterward that I slept for two and a half hours.

I am writing this post to ask you to pray specifically for the healing process where my left breast was and will eventually be again. That side is where the cancer was and it is healing more slowly than the right side. There is one area in particular that looks like the blood supply is not being established like it needs to be, the skin is sort of black and the incision there is still oozing a bit rather than scabbing over like all of the rest. Sorry to those for whom that was way too much information, but I really need specific prayer for this to heal.

Thank you for joining us in praying for total healing and restoration of the blood supply to the skin in that area!! Blessings to you, we are so very grateful that you continue to stand with us in prayer.

I see the oncologist tomorrow, Tuesday August 12, to go over the pathology report and make final decisions on the chemo treatment, etc. Please pray for wisdom and that Ron and I would be able to think of any questions we need to ask as the doctor explains everything to us.

Great Weekend

Sorry for the long silence over the weekend. Ron, Karyn and Hannah were down in Rancho Cucamonga, near Los Angeles, for Michael and Heidi Warren's wedding! Ron performed the ceremony and Hannah was a bridesmaid. I was supposed to help with the ceremony, but had to stay home for obvious reasons. I heard that the wedding was beautiful, Walt Pelot gave an opportunity for people there to give their lives to Jesus, Mike was handsome and Heidi beautiful, and Hannah looked lovely. Mike and Heidi did something that so blessed us. Rather than spend money on wedding favors, they decided to use that money to give as a donation to the fight against breast cancer. Ron and I both teared up, that was amazingly thoughtful and precious to both of us.

Meanwhile, I could not travel and still needed considerable help with drains, meals, etc. So, my dear friends, Mary Forsythe from Texas and Beth Clark from Tennessee, flew out and stayed here at the house and took care of me. They were amazing and we had a great time together. Mary's education was as a pharmacist, though she now has her own ministry, and she was able to help me sort out my medications so that my pain has been managed much better over the past several days...a huge relief! Karen Greschel was also on hand to help out, so I was in great hands. Both Mary and Beth ministered at our church on Sunday morning and Mary preached. What a blessing they are! Thanks so much, Mary and Beth, for coming all the way out here to care for me. I loved being with you!

I am continuing to get stronger day by day...thank you so much for praying.

Post-op appointments with surgeons

I saw Dr. Ghorbani (plastic surgeon) yesterday and Dr. Kerlin today. Both doctors said everything looks good. The only problem is that the incision on the left side had a little place that is healing more slowly than the rest, would you please pray that the healing process catches up and keeps moving forward. Thank you.

Because the healing is going a little more slowly than expected, they are keeping the drains in on both sides for a few more days. Also, Dr. Kerlin said we may need to postpone chemo for another week or two depending on how the healing process continues. Again, please pray for swift, complication-free healing. I am hoping they are amazed at how much quicker things are healing the next time I go into see the doctors.

Since Friday, I have only been taking Tylenol and Advil for pain because the other drugs were making me very sick with pretty violent vomiting--not good after surgery! This is a whole lot of surgery for just Tylenol and the pain level has been higher than is conducive to healing, so today I spoke with Dr. Kerlin and we are trying another stronger pain medicine tonight. Please, please pray that I am able to handle this medication, that I do not get nauseous and that it will control my pain better. I think it will help to speed up the healing process.

I forgot to mention that they also put a "port" in my chest to enable the chemo treatments to be infused directly into a major vein rather than through smaller veins in my arms. That is healing beautifully.

I really wish I knew how to better express my extreme gratitude to all of you for your faithful prayers, encouragement, Scriptures, meals and gifts. You all have been such a tangible expression of God's loving grace, comfort and care to me and my entire family. Thank you so very much. with much love to you, Leslyn

Pathology Report

The pathology report came back with the results from the tissue taken during the surgery and the news is good. The results, in light of the PET scan and MRI, were what the doctors had hoped would be the case. The doctor said several times that we absolutely made the right decision to take both breasts. The right breast was completely clear of cancer, praise the Lord, but the tissue was full of pre-cancerous cells that were ready to turn. It would have been like having a time bomb in my body waiting to go off. I am so grateful for the wisdom of the Lord.

In the PET scan and MRI, it looked like the left breast had a 10 cm tumor in it covering most of the lower half. The oncologist said he HOPED that rather than a solid mass, that the surgery would show that there were small tumors spread throughout the lower half of the breast with clear tissue in between them, which the scans could not differentiate. That was exactly what they found in the pathology report! The largest tumor, and it looked like there were two or three of them, was only 2 cm (a MUCH better scenario than one very large tumor). There were many tumors, most of which were only a millimeter and some were microscopic.

Only one lymph node had cancer, which was what we were hoping for based on the scans. The doctor said she was amazed that it was contained there because the whole node had become a tumor. They took the two centinal nodes on either side and a "packet" of 15 nodes as well from the surrounding area and all of them were completely clear of cancer!! Thank you, Jesus, for keeping that cancer contained! The doctor said usually when they see the cancer that far along in a lymph node, they find it in the other nodes too. I really believe the Lord answered our prayers to keep that cancer contained and that He did not allow it to spread. I see that as being a miracle.

Thank you so much for praying and for contending for my life and fully restored health. Based on what we knew going in, this was the best possible medical outcome. I am so grateful.

something changed

On the second morning in the hospital, I was awakened to the already familiar sound of the vital sign machine coming into my room at 4:00 AM. I was wide awake by the time the very kind nurse left my room (I did have AMAZING nurses day and night, I KNOW some of you were praying for that specifically...thank you so much!!).

As I looked out the window of my private room (another answer to prayer!) the dawn began to break over the mountain. Admittedly, I have not seen a lot of sunrises in my life and so I watched carefully, knowing God was wanting to speak to me. Dawn breaks so slowly, the darkness finally receding after a long, dark night. At times it seems that no progress is being made at all, though the sun is relentlessly rising all that same. The sun doesn't just POP! up over the horizon, it takes a long time but by the time the sun does rise up fully, the darkness has vanished. Dawn is a gentle wakening, like a mother waking her child slowly and lovingly, not by harshly flipping on the lights. I pondered these aspects and more as I watched the transformation the sun brings to dark and cold places.

As I watched, I began to realize that since having the cancer removed two days before, I felt totally different inside. Over these past nine months, I have been running a fever and feeling really sick. I have known deep inside that there was something really wrong with me. I realized that morning that the deep sense of well-being that I normally feel had returned. Though I still am hurting from the surgery, am tired and have a long way to go, down deep inside, I feel so much better. I feel "well." I truly believe that all of my symptoms were my bodies way of fighting the cancer and trying to warn me that something was very wrong and needed attention. My fever is already going away, not everyday, but most days I am fever free and my heart is healing too. My cardiologist already dropped the dosage of my beta blockers by half because of the improvement.

My family and I have experienced many instant and amazingly miraculous healings over the years. Sometimes God moves instantaneously and other times through a process. That morning I began to sense the "dawn" of God's healing slowly breaking over my body, pushing back the darkness that has hung over me for months. Dawn breaks slowly but when the Son rises fully, the darkness must vanish.

I'm Back...

Oh thank you, thank you, thank you for standing with me in prayer. I could profoundly feel your prayers lifting me during the past week. It will take a few posts to get you all caught up on what all has gone on, I know some of what I have to share will be direct answers to many of your prayers. I will have to go slowly, so just a couple a day, because I can't type very long yet, my arms are still pretty sore.

Thank you to all who prayed on the day of surgery, God's grace was truly amazing.

First, the morning went so smoothly, there was such peace on our home that it was tangible. I was ready early and was able to send out a few emails before going to the hospital. I felt such love and gratitude for those of you praying for me that I sent just had to send out emails to as many of you as I was able.

It was so sweet to have family and friends at the hospital before, during and after surgery. The doctors commented on what a large family I have and how nice everyone was. You all are great and I heard you had a great time complete with snacks, and yummy cookies!! What a great idea!!

In pre-op they allowed Karen Greschel to come in with us to pray for us, she was able to stay much longer than we thought which was really a comfort.

For me, the most nerve racking part of surgery is being wheeled from pre-op down the hall, through all the people in hallways, to the surgical room and having to switch tables and see all of the machines, etc., so I had told the Lord about that concern that morning. So as the time to go to sugery approached, the anastiologist came in and injected something into my IV (which by the way stayed viable the entire time I was in the hosptial, that was an answer to prayer). I said, "Wow, I can feel that!" Ron leaned over and kissed me and we said, "See you soon." I closed my eyes and suddenly saw a picture in my mind's eye of a huge grassy meadow filled with flowers. Far away in the distance I could see a huge, beautiful waterfall. Standing next to me was Jesus, He looked down at me and took my hand, pointed away at the distant waterfall as if to say, "Let's go over there and look at that." We began to step forward and that is all I remember until I woke up in the post-op recovery room. I have NO memory of going down the hall, of switching tables or anything or anyone in the operating room, I got to skip all of the stuff that is usually hard for me. I was so blessed by God's grace and kindness to me. Even after I got put in my room in the hospital, as I would fall asleep, I would remember seeing Jesus pointing to the waterfall.

My brother Rich said that when I was sleeping in my room in the hospital that I always looked so peaceful and had a little smile on my face. I must have been running through that meadow and playing in the waterfall!!

Thank you for praying!!!!!! More to come.

Pain and Recovery

Three days into recovery at home there has been a mixture of good days and very bad ones. The first day back Leslyn did okay, she was extremely tired, but was talking and eating okay. However, yesterday she spent the day with horrible nausea and threw up for most of the day...which feels bad anyways, but on top of having your chest muscles cut in half, it's just a painful experience. The surgeon said it was likely her body having an adverse reaction to the pain killers, so they have completely taken her off of them. This, thankfully, has stopped the nausea and today her stomach has been much more settled. Unfortunately, she can now only control the pain with advil and tylenol...so she is much more sore than she has been before. Please continue to pray for the pain as we are trying to keep it under control as best we can with the medication we have available and that the nausea will not return.

Thank you all for your faithful prayers, there is no way we could be doing this without you.

~Karyn