Sunday, March 29, 2009

1/3 through with radiation!

I've hit the 1/3 mark on the count down of my radiation treatments. On one hand, going to radiation everyday is tiring, but on the other hand, it makes it seem like it is going quickly. I guess it is sort of like when the day is really busy at work, the day seems to go by faster.

My skin is beginning to look burned and is starting to hurt, but it is still tolerable. I really wanted to thank you for praying. I have had such tremendous faith that God is really protecting my heart and lung during radiation. I can really sense a shield of faith keeping me protected.

Thankful for you!!

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Please pray for protection over my heart and left lung

I found out this week that a small part of my heart and two places in my left lung are getting some of the radiation each time I get my treatment. The doctor showed me the graphs, charts and CT scans to explain what part of my lung and heart where getting the radiation and why it was unavoidable in order to radiate the areas where the cancer was in my breast and lymph node and where they think it is most likely to recur. They have done everything they could to avoid as much of the lung and heart as possible. So, my prayer request is for protection and as Mary L said, "shielding" of my heart and lung from the adverse and damaging effects of the radiation. I REALLY do not want any long term damage done to these organs!

I am also writing to ask for prayer for strength. By the end of my first week, which was Wednesday, I was already beginning to feel increased fatigue...I still have five weeks left to go. I am getting what is considered a high dose of radiation, and they warned me that I will probably start feeling burning in my skin soon. Please join me in asking the Lord to minimize the side effects.

Throughout the time they are radiating me I pray for protection and healing of my healthy cells and that any cancer cells that might still be lingering would be killed. Would you please join me daily in that prayer. Thank you so much!! Your prayers made such a difference for me emotionally last week, thank you so much for your precious prayers that are making a very real and tangible difference in my life!

One week down, five to go!

It seems amazing to me that I have competed one week of radiation already. Your prayers really made a big difference with my emotions. I walked in supernatural peace throughout the week, have already had a chance to connect with a couple of the lab workers, and have begun to share a little about what the Lord has done in my life with workers and other patients. The people I have met have been really sweet and very kind.

This week was called, "daffodil days" sponsored by the American Cancer Society. They provided daffodils for all of the radiation patients. One of the lab workers who I am getting to know gave me an extra bouquet, "just because," which was really sweet. The Cancer Society does this to let cancer patients know they are not alone in the fight and to give the phone numbers and web info of their 24 hour help lines. I was really touched by their kindness and thoughtfulness. I could see that other patients were touched by the flowers too. Very sweet.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Starting Radiation Today

I have my first radiation treatment today at 4:30PM. I've already had several pre-radiation appointments where they made sure that all of the angles and calculations were correct, I've had two CT scans and three small tattooes and will get one more today. As they say, I'm all tatted up!

So today it begins. I will be going in for radiotherapy every weekday for the next 6 weeks. Everyone tells me that radiation is much easier than chemo, which is good, but for some reason I am feeling pretty apprehensive about the whole thing. I know logically that this should be easier, but emotionally I am feeling pretty stressed about it. I would really appreciate your prayers for peace over my emotions. I know some of the apprehension comes from association, both my parents had to have radiation treatments, so I think it brings back memories of them going though difficult times. I am praying through all of that, but I have not experienced a breakthrough emotionally yet. I am still moving forward regardless of how I feel, of course, but I thought I would let you know and ask for your prayers. I know that I need God's grace, strength, mercy and peace.

Thank you again for standing with me and for all of the encouraging words that you send to me. May God richly and deeply bless you! Leslyn

Sunday, March 1, 2009

A hard week, but full of blessings

Last week was a tough one, but the Lord had placed blessings there for me in the midst of it. He is really thoughtful that way...smile.

As you know, since last September 08 I have been undergoing the process of reconstructing the breasts that were removed during my double mastectomy for cancer. That process of slowly filling the expanders that create a space between my ribs and the muscle and skin of my chest wall has been longer and more painful than I had anticipated. Just two weeks ago I had my final expansion, which meant, I thought, that I would not have to have anymore poking of needles or stretching of muscles and that the next step would be the eventual surgery to place the permanent implants. This was to happen sometime in July after I healed from radiation. Ah but there were some bumps in the road that I had not anticipated...

I found out from the radiation oncologist that they would have to drain much of the fluid from my right "breast" in order achieve the correct angle as they radiate the left side of my chest where the cancer was. Apparently, they don't want to radiate the skin and muscle on the right side because it doesn't need it. They also have to come in over the right side and radiate the left side at the shallowest possible angle in order NOT to radiate my left lung and heart, which I appreciate. What I was not expecting was to have to go back in, have another needle placed in my right breast and have most of the fluid removed after working so very hard to get it to the point of being fully expanded.

So, on Tuesday I had the fluid removed and on Thursday afternoon I went in for what they call "radiation mapping." They marked up the area they are planning to radiate with a permanent marker, ran me through a CT machine and took pictures of my chest and neck where they are planning to do radiation therapy. Then the technician said the doctor wanted to talk to me. I thought, "Uh oh." The doctor had me come out and look at the computer screen with my CT scan on it and showed me that the little bit of fluid the doctor had left in my right breast was still too much and ALL of the fluid would need to be removed, otherwise too much of my lung and heart would be hit by radiation. When the doctor originally told me about this whole draining thing, I cried off and on for two days feeling like I was having to loose my breast all over again, but by this time I was feeling fairly resigned to the idea.

Ron and I left the radiation lab and went across the street to my plastic surgeon just to make an appointment to have the rest of the fluid drained. Thankfully, and for the first time, his office was completely empty and he was able to drain the fluid right then and there, which was so nice of him and his receptionist to do for me. I saw that as the kindness and provision of the Lord. I realize now why the doctor had left some fluid in the first time. Taking all of the fluid out is very disfiguring, I will spare you the description but take my word for it, it is not attractive. That has been hard for me. I will be like this for about 9-10 weeks or more until the radiation is over and I have recovered enough to begin the process of expanding the right side again.

I will go back in on Tuesday, March 3 and they will do the mapping all over again: marking me up with a permanent marker and doing the CT scan again. After that, they will cover some of the important marks with tape, which I will wear until I come back in to begin radiation therapy in about a week to a week and a half. At that point they will tweek their measurements and then tattoo small marks permanently on my chest. The doctor assured me they would be small marks like freckles and I said, "Oh gosh, I was hoping for Tinker Bell." She laughed and yes, I was just joking. These marks outline the field of radiation so that any radiation oncologist who ever looks at me will know exactly which areas have been radiated.

So all of that was a setback we had not been prepared for and it sort of took the wind out of our sails. Ron has been great through it all, he brought me flowers and tells me daily how beautiful I am to him...I could not ask for a more loving and supportive husband.

The blessings the Lord provided during this hard week were my two dear friends, Mary and Beth, who flew in from Texas and Tennessee to be with me this week while Mary did some meetings for our church and for Aglow. They were such a blessing to have with me as I navigated these unexpected setbacks. They were also so flexible with my need to sleep a lot this past week as the recovery process from chemo is slow.

I would so appreciate your prayers for me on Tuesday, March 3 as I go in for the radiation mapping do-over.
**Please pray that they are able to get the most shallow possible angle of radiation so that they get all of the skin, muscle and bone that needs to be radiated but that they miss as much as possible of my lung and miss all of my heart.
**Please pray for protection over any lung tissue that does get radiation that God would protect it and keep it healthy.
**Radiation generally kills all cells that it hits whether healthy cells or cancer cells. It causes lots of scar tissue to form and so please pray that there is minimal scaring and burning of the muscle and skin on my chest a neck area where they will be radiating. The neck area is being radiated because the cancer had gone into my lymph nodes and they want to hit the nodes in my neck with radiation in case any cancer cells are hiding there.
**Please pray for me emotionally as I have to live with a very disfigured "breast" for the next month and a half or so.

I will post the radiation schedule as soon as I have it. Bless you and thank you so much for praying!!