Chemo #11 down, only one more to go!!

I had my eleventh chemo infusion yesterday along with Herceptin and a liter of IV fluids with potassium added. I went back in today and had my Neulasta shot to boost my white blood cells and had another liter of IV fluids with potassium added. That is supposed to help with the residual nausea I have been having for the past two weeks along with the extreme fatigue. I am praying it helps.

I do not feel well at all today, but am trusting that I will get better with these fluids. The consensus is that I will probably not feel better until awhile after my last chemo treatment. I just need to tough it out through the end of my treatment. They said it will probably be 6 months to a year after all of my treatment is finished, including radiation and surgeries that are still ahead of me, before I start to feel like myself again. Everyday, I get closer to that mark.

Thank you again for praying, I couldn't do this without you.
with a grateful heart,
Leslyn

My eyelashes and eyebrows are gone

The last of my remaining eyelashes fell out last night. I now have no eyebrows or eyelashes, it feels kind of weird I must confess. At any rate, I don't have to spend much time getting ready in the morning...no hair requires no fuss, and no eyebrows and eyelashes require no makeup. This experience has really taken me down to the very basics of who I am. There is a strange sort of freedom that comes with really having to look at who I am aside from looks or body parts. I have never been so grateful to know that I am a daughter of the King, a child of the living God as I am now...no props, nothing to lean on but my identity in my Jesus. That identity supersedes any outward appearance and cuts to the core of my being. I am so grateful.

Round 3 of antibiotics

I saw Kathleen today and they are starting me on a third round of antibiotics. I thought I had fought off the infections, but found out that I am not through just yet. I don't have much resistance left. The good news is that I will still be able to take chemo on Thursday, though I will admit my body is getting very weak, I am sleeping a lot. They are going to give me some hydration fluids on Thurs and Fri to see if that helps with the nausea that seems to be hanging on between treatments.

I am grateful that the Lord has made me a fighter because the next three weeks are going to be a push to get through to the end of chemo.
I am writing to ask for increased prayer support.
I know you all have been so faithful to pray all along the past 5+ months of chemo, but now at the end I really need as much prayer as possible to sustain me and really to carry me. I don't remember ever feeling so weak physically.

As I said to one of my cousins, I am so grateful that the Lord is my strength and my help in this time of trouble!! Thank you for coming to my aid in prayer.
with an extremely grateful heart for you, Leslyn

We had to put our dog down today, we miss him

Our fifteen and a half year old dog, Chance, has not been doing very well for the past couple of weeks. His health has really been failing for the past year or so, but recently his health started really taking a turn for the worse. Today, it became very clear that the kindest thing we could do for him would be to put him down. We got to spend a majority of the day with him, holding him and telling him what a good boy he has been. Ron and I took him to the Vet and were with him to the end. I cried and cried.

He has been such a great dog, very loving and very faithful. He was Karyn's dog, so I would really appreciate your prayer for her in particular. She is back down at school already, so I think it will sink in a little more slowly for her. The Lord had prepared Karyn's heart. Before she left, she told me that she thought she would probably not see Chance again, so when Ron called her today to tell her, she was already prepared.

As you can imagine, we are all feeling a little overwhelmed. With all that is already going on and now with Chance's passing, it is just a lot to handle. Those who have been following my blog for awhile may remember that we had to put our 14 year old dog, Chad, down a few months ago, so loosing Chance seemed just that much harder. We are thankful that we still have Charley, he is only 4 years old.

I know some may think, "he is just a dog," but for us, Chance was part of our family. We really love our pets. As you pray for us, would you please pray for comfort, grace and strength? We really need it and your prayers. Thank you so much.

Started a second round of antibiotics

Well, I have not been able to fight off this cold yet. I started on a second round of antibiotics last night. My lungs are still pretty congested but I have not developed pneumonia, praise the Lord!! Thank you so much for praying, I know your prayers are making a major difference.

I have my Herceptin infusion tomorrow at 9:30 AM. I am not feeling great, but definitely good enough to move forward with my infusion.

Thank you again for coming to my aide in prayer.

The cold has dropped into my lungs

Friday morning the cold seemed to be getting better. I went in for my Neulasta shot (white blood cell booster) and spent a little time sitting in the sun when I got home. It was a nice day. By evening, the cold had dropped into my lungs and I have been in bed since. I am writing from bed on my lap top. I wanted to get this out to you to ask for specific prayer.

Please pray that this does not turn into pneumonia, my lungs are very congested.
Please pray for my back to remain strong. In the past, my back tends to go out when I am coughing as hard as I am now.
Please pray that I can get into see my doctor tomorrow. I would like someone to listen to my lungs and decide if I need another round of antibiotics or not.
Please pray for grace and strength, between this cold getting so bad and chemotherapy, I am unbelievably tired and worn out. I can tell it would be easy to get discouraged but I am resisting that and trying to remain in His presence.

I wish there was more that I could say than "thank you." I truly lack the words to express how grateful I am that you are continuing to stand with me in prayer through this on-going battle. with a thankful heart, Leslyn

Was able to have chemo #10 on schedule

Thank you so much for praying! I went early on Thursday to have my blood counts checked because I had a 102 degree fever the night before. They had dropped but were still high enough for me to take the chemotherapy. When the nurse went to ask the doctor if I could have the chemo, I ask her to please tell him, "I really, really, really want to take chemo." I have to keep the long term benefit in mind more than my immediate comfort.

I only have two more chemo treatments to go. The last one will be on Feb. 12, that will be a good day!

The cold has taken hold

I got hit pretty hard by the cold last night. I thought I was getting through it with just a light cold but then it took a turn for the worse last night. I already had an appointment with the oncologist today so that worked out well. I have a sinus infection and both ears are infected, so I am on antibiotics. My temp. is 101 tonight so it is a good thing I started the antibiotics today!

I will keep this very short because I don't feel well at all, but just wanted to ask that you keep praying for healing.

I have chemo #10 on Thursday. On one hand, I can't imagine having chemo feeling like this, but on the other hand I am glad that they are letting me move forward at this point. I will need to call the office and let them know my temp is 101 tonight, they want anything over 100.5 reported to their office.

Thank you for your steadfast prayer and for continuing to stand with me in this fierce battle.

I am coming down with a cold, please pray!!

It appears that I am coming down with a cold tonight. Hannah and Karyn have both been sick with colds. Karyn is still sick. My nose started running (funny mental picture...I need to get out more) yesterday and then by this afternoon my throat started hurting down low in my larynx. This evening, I think I may be running a bit of a fever, my head hurts and my sinuses are getting pretty full.

The main issue for me is that I am well enough to get my Herceptin and chemo treatments on schedule. I have mentioned before that the recurrence rate drops by 30% if the chemo is given every two weeks throughout treatment. That benefit is lost when that treatment cycle moves off of that every two week schedule. I know that the Lord is the One who holds my life in His hands and knows the number of my days, so I need not and will not give into fear, but I do want to be diligent to ask for prayer. I know that God is able to heal and so would you go to Him with me and ask for healing of this cold? Please pray for Karyn too, she is supposed to fly back to So Cal on Monday. Thank you so much!! I am grateful for you, Leslyn

Answer to Kathy's Question

Kathy asked, after being sick and running a fever for so long what happened that made me check for cancer? Good question. Several things happened all around the same time. First, several doctors that I saw said that one of the things that can cause a fever that has no other obvious origin is a malignant tumor. I had a bone marrow biopsy to rule out several cancers that can present with a fever. That very painful test came back negative. (Breast cancer doesn't usually present with a fever, but mine did.)

I have always done my monthly self breast exams and gone for my annual mammograms. I have had several cysts in the past, some that have come and gone with fluctuating hormones during the month, so I was not too surprised when I found a lump while doing a self check. I decided to wait and keep an eye on it to see if it disappeared as my hormones changed that month. Around the same time, I went to a very gifted and highly trained massage therapist in San Francisco because my neck had gone out really badly. He is very intuitive to illness in the body. As he was checking my neck and left arm where I was having some numbness from my neck, the first thing out of his mouth was, "Have you been checked for breast cancer?" (He knew I had been sick for months at that point without a diagnosis.) My first thought was, "I had better go get that lump checked."

Also around this time, and this sounds really bizarre I know, my dog (a mini-doxie and therefore a scent hound) had been sitting on my lap and turned around and sniffed my left breast like there was something under my shirt. He did this on two or three occasions. I thought that was pretty wierd but I had read that sometimes dogs can smell cancer so it got my attention.

I think it was the the day after I came home from the massage therapist in SF, I called my GYN and made an appointment. They were able to get me in immediately. I had prayed and knew when I went into the doctor that I needed to ask to have a mammogram AND an ultrasound to check this lump. The mammogram was completely clear, but it was during the ultrasound that a very careful and thorough tech found the cancer in my left breast. So that was a long answer, but clearly the Lord went out of His way to make clear to me that I needed to get checked for breast cancer. My advice now to women is 1) do your monthly self breast exams, 2) if you suspect there is anything different, go to your doctor and make sure to ask for a mammogram and an ultrasound 3) don't put it off, I know it is scary, but going to your doctor can save your life! I am sure glad I went. Hope that helps.

2009 is here at last

Don't you just feel that 2009 is going to be a better year? I could hardly wait to start 2009. I've heard from a few others who have felt this way too. I am looking forward to a number of things this year. The first is restored health. I am very much looking forward to getting stronger as the year progresses. Full health may not come until 2010, but I believe I will make great strides in that direction this year. I am looking forward to finishing up chemo next month, Feb. 12 to be precise! I am looking forward to completing radiation, March and April, and having that behind me. There are a couple of surgeries still before me but by the end of the year, these should all be done. So though there are still some hard things to endure on this journey of healing, I can look forward to most of them being behind me by the end of this year.

I also have some very fun things to look forward to this year. Hannah is graduating from High School the end of May. We are really proud of her. My nephew Joe is getting married to his wonderful fiance Jessica in August and Ron and I get to perform the wedding. I am really looking forward to that, and trusting that by then I will be strong enough to participate. I should even have a decent amount of hair for the ceremony! My list of "Things to do when I get well" is expanding, so that gives me lots to look forward to as well.

I love what our friends Mahesh and Bonnie Chavda are saying about his year, "The Lord is preparing a table before us in the midst of our enemies, so come and dine in 2009." This is particularly meaningful to me because I am still very much in the fight for my life, very much still surrounded by the enemy, but it is in that very place that God sets a table of provision, nourishment, sustenance and even celebration before us. This reference to Psalm 23 is a precious reminder to me that my God is with me, He is for me and He is my Provider and Defender. He is not the least bit intimidated by the enemy and so I don't need to be either. Happy New Year, and I pray His grace, peace, provision and defense be yours in abundance.