A hard week, but full of blessings

Last week was a tough one, but the Lord had placed blessings there for me in the midst of it. He is really thoughtful that way...smile.

As you know, since last September 08 I have been undergoing the process of reconstructing the breasts that were removed during my double mastectomy for cancer. That process of slowly filling the expanders that create a space between my ribs and the muscle and skin of my chest wall has been longer and more painful than I had anticipated. Just two weeks ago I had my final expansion, which meant, I thought, that I would not have to have anymore poking of needles or stretching of muscles and that the next step would be the eventual surgery to place the permanent implants. This was to happen sometime in July after I healed from radiation. Ah but there were some bumps in the road that I had not anticipated...

I found out from the radiation oncologist that they would have to drain much of the fluid from my right "breast" in order achieve the correct angle as they radiate the left side of my chest where the cancer was. Apparently, they don't want to radiate the skin and muscle on the right side because it doesn't need it. They also have to come in over the right side and radiate the left side at the shallowest possible angle in order NOT to radiate my left lung and heart, which I appreciate. What I was not expecting was to have to go back in, have another needle placed in my right breast and have most of the fluid removed after working so very hard to get it to the point of being fully expanded.

So, on Tuesday I had the fluid removed and on Thursday afternoon I went in for what they call "radiation mapping." They marked up the area they are planning to radiate with a permanent marker, ran me through a CT machine and took pictures of my chest and neck where they are planning to do radiation therapy. Then the technician said the doctor wanted to talk to me. I thought, "Uh oh." The doctor had me come out and look at the computer screen with my CT scan on it and showed me that the little bit of fluid the doctor had left in my right breast was still too much and ALL of the fluid would need to be removed, otherwise too much of my lung and heart would be hit by radiation. When the doctor originally told me about this whole draining thing, I cried off and on for two days feeling like I was having to loose my breast all over again, but by this time I was feeling fairly resigned to the idea.

Ron and I left the radiation lab and went across the street to my plastic surgeon just to make an appointment to have the rest of the fluid drained. Thankfully, and for the first time, his office was completely empty and he was able to drain the fluid right then and there, which was so nice of him and his receptionist to do for me. I saw that as the kindness and provision of the Lord. I realize now why the doctor had left some fluid in the first time. Taking all of the fluid out is very disfiguring, I will spare you the description but take my word for it, it is not attractive. That has been hard for me. I will be like this for about 9-10 weeks or more until the radiation is over and I have recovered enough to begin the process of expanding the right side again.

I will go back in on Tuesday, March 3 and they will do the mapping all over again: marking me up with a permanent marker and doing the CT scan again. After that, they will cover some of the important marks with tape, which I will wear until I come back in to begin radiation therapy in about a week to a week and a half. At that point they will tweek their measurements and then tattoo small marks permanently on my chest. The doctor assured me they would be small marks like freckles and I said, "Oh gosh, I was hoping for Tinker Bell." She laughed and yes, I was just joking. These marks outline the field of radiation so that any radiation oncologist who ever looks at me will know exactly which areas have been radiated.

So all of that was a setback we had not been prepared for and it sort of took the wind out of our sails. Ron has been great through it all, he brought me flowers and tells me daily how beautiful I am to him...I could not ask for a more loving and supportive husband.

The blessings the Lord provided during this hard week were my two dear friends, Mary and Beth, who flew in from Texas and Tennessee to be with me this week while Mary did some meetings for our church and for Aglow. They were such a blessing to have with me as I navigated these unexpected setbacks. They were also so flexible with my need to sleep a lot this past week as the recovery process from chemo is slow.

I would so appreciate your prayers for me on Tuesday, March 3 as I go in for the radiation mapping do-over.
**Please pray that they are able to get the most shallow possible angle of radiation so that they get all of the skin, muscle and bone that needs to be radiated but that they miss as much as possible of my lung and miss all of my heart.
**Please pray for protection over any lung tissue that does get radiation that God would protect it and keep it healthy.
**Radiation generally kills all cells that it hits whether healthy cells or cancer cells. It causes lots of scar tissue to form and so please pray that there is minimal scaring and burning of the muscle and skin on my chest a neck area where they will be radiating. The neck area is being radiated because the cancer had gone into my lymph nodes and they want to hit the nodes in my neck with radiation in case any cancer cells are hiding there.
**Please pray for me emotionally as I have to live with a very disfigured "breast" for the next month and a half or so.

I will post the radiation schedule as soon as I have it. Bless you and thank you so much for praying!!