Yesterday was a hard day

(Warning: this post contains a lot of detail)

I went to see the plastic surgeon yesterday for another post-op appointment. He decided to take the back drain out. It had been in for three weeks, which is longer than normal. It was still draining bloody fluid from my back but had slowed some. He was concerned that the drain itself may have been causing irritation and drainage. As of today, bloody fluid is still seeping from the hole in my back, which is better than having it accumulate under the skin in my back. It is just sort of yucky. I am hoping that by tomorrow it stops seeping. Once it finally stops and the hole heals over I can actually take a shower. That will be a glorious day.

So that was the good news. As I have mentioned previously, I have had problems again with necrotic (dead), non-viable tissue in the newly grafted skin. The nipple had died completely and the necrosis had started spreading to the other tissue in the newly built areola. The doctor said that the radiation damage to the vascular system that feeds the left side of my chest and under my left arm was much worse than he had anticipated. Even though he brought new unradiated skin around front from my back, there was not enough blood flow to support it. So I really need continued prayer for new veins to form and a miraculous healing to my vascular system there so that the tissue that is left will survive and heal.

Yesterday, the doctor went in with a scalpel and cut away and dug out all of the dead tissue to try and give the healthy tissue a better chance to begin to heal. I was awake. It was not painful because I have no feeling in that area, but I could feel pressure and it was uncomfortable. It was hard to loose another nipple, that brings my total to three nipples lost, which is just weird. It is very stressful to loose body parts. I was so hopeful right after the surgery and it all looked so good. I had a good cry off and on during the day yesterday, really just mourning the loss of what I had hoped would make me look more "normal" again. It was also just hard to have all of that cut away. It was pretty deep in places and so he had to sow it all back up. It was just emotionally intense.

I feel better today. I am pretty sore, but emotionally I am doing much better. The Lord's grace has been sweet.